Empowered

Empowered! 

What I love most about kids, is watching them feel empowered. Seeing my children do something on their own the first time and then loudly proclaiming, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!” is one of the most awesome experiences of being a parent (or aunt, uncle, grandparent, teacher, guardian, etc.). I know that these children will grow up to be independent and able to solve any problems put in front of them. All it takes is encouragement to keep trying and a reminder that they CAN do it by themselves.

Another reason why it’s so exciting to see them feeling empowered, is because I know the feeling! When I feel like I have accomplished an event that took effort, whether it is physical or mental, I feel the rush of self-pride. I want to share with everyone, “LOOK! I DID IT MYSELF!” just like a kid. Adonis has even been there for several of these moments, including one last night where I made my own toothpaste for us to use.

 If you’re having trouble feeling self-empowered, you could try a few things (or you can try them with your children as well):

• Clear and charge a citrine or amethyst gemstone with the intention of assisting you in having more self-empowerment. 
• Clear your energy with sage, focusing on removing all doubts within yourself. 
• Do a ritual with a red or yellow candle for courage. A purple candle could be used for success. An indigo candle could be used to remove fear. During the ritual, focus your energy on the task, let the Gods know your intentions, and visualize yourself starting a task and following it through to completion. Envision breaking through a brick wall or climbing a tall mountain. The most important part of the visualization is to see yourself celebrating your victory. If you feel moved, you could even get up and do a “happy dance” around the circle. Throw some confetti for yourself. Then get out and accomplish what you want to do, no matter how hard it is.

Fear

I know I'm a little behind on the PBP. Life has been really crazy lately with sports starting up for the boys and the littlest boy on the way.

With that being said, I'm starting with last week's letter, F.

Fear.

Fear is a powerful thing. 

Fear of the unknown can stop forward progression through life. For some it just stops you from completing goals, for others it is so serious that they can’t leave their homes. 

Fear can manifest itself in many ways such as your heart beating faster, your palms sweating, your body shaking, or seeing big, black, evil creatures. 

Didn’t see me going that direction did you? And just in case you're wondering, I'm not talking about schizophrenia.

During times of fear and stress, meditation becomes difficult and at times I can “see” large black creatures trying to claw and bite their way into my energy bubble. These can be scary and I’ve found myself thinking, “Wow, my imagination is really running wild.” Occasionally I’ve thought, “AH DEMONS!” 

Do I actually think they’re demons? No. Demons have a lot better things to do then flail fruitlessly at my meditation energy bubble.

The more I meditate on them and what’s going on around me though, I realize that it’s more likely a manifestation of the fear and anxiety running rampant through my mind during the busy hours (and when I try to sleep). Bills, childbirth, our house being robbed, work, moving, deciding where to send my youngest son to school, custody issues, etc. can create a lot of anxiety and fear for the future. 

If I try to hide that fear away and not deal with it, it will manifest itself in other ways, like a big, black, angry creature trying to claw its way to the forefront of my mind. 

These are times when I know I need to focus and actually deal with that fear. I need to confront it instead of pushing it away or worrying about it constantly. 

There is a tale that goes something like:

“A Native American chief was speaking to his grandson. He said, ‘Inside me there is a white dog and a black dog and they are constantly fighting one another. The black dog is mean, angry, and full of fear. The white dog is good, kind, and full of happiness.’ The grandson asked, ‘Grandfather, which dog wins?’ The grandfather replied, ‘The one I feed the most.’”

Once I acknowledge the black dog inside me, I need to stop feeding it. I need to stop worrying about it and stressing about it. I need to feed the white dog and come up with helpful resolutions and, if necessary, I need to ask for help. 

Once I start to meditate and feel the black creatures, I know that I’ve given that fear too much power and have probably been trying to push it away for too long. Most of the time, this requires after-action on my part. This can be things like making a plan or even just telling someone else about my fears. During meditation I can visualize my spirit animal (which is a panther) assisting the white dog in its fight. I could visualize power flowing into the white dog, making it grown larger and larger. I could also visualize trapping the black dog in a cone of energy and communicating with it, telling it that it will no longer have control over my life.

Once I take charge of the black dog, the white dog has more power in my life and starts winning the constant battle.

Absent - Missing that Divine Connection

Has there ever been a time in your life where you've felt disconnected?

No matter how hard you meditate, no matter how many times you pray or say a blessing, no matter how elaborate or simple you make your ritual... you feel nothing.

It can leave you feeling very alone... and that's a sad feeling.

No worries though! Almost everyone goes through one or more of these times in their life, when they can't feel a connection to the divine.

You might find yourself asking, "Ok, but how do I get out of this funk?"

The answer is not to push yourself harder. Obviously there is some sort of block.

Maybe you have too much going on in your life to let yourself feel the energy around you.

A few months ago, I was feeling this block. There was so much going on at home and at work and I couldn't control it all. At the same time I was attempting to honor the God and Goddess as well as meditate. Nothing was coming through. I could not feel anything, not even my spirit guide whom I've had a strong connection to for as long as I can remember.

I pushed and pushed and pushed. I told myself that I just needed to try harder, but it was like running against a brick wall. I was feeling disappointed and lost. Had I really lost my Gods? Had I lost my ability to hear my guides? No, I really hadn't, but it was like I was standing in the middle of busy Los Angeles traffic, while trying to hear my guides and the Goddess and God, but screaming at the cars at the same time. There's no way I'm going to feel anything other than frustration.

Eventually I realized that I had to let things go, internally and externally. Once I realized that, things started happening in my life to help me. Even though I loved having my nephew at our home and trying to help him through a rough patch in his life, it was better for our family that his mom decided to take him back to her home. My pregnancy slowly got better. I also tried not to force myself into elaborate rituals and honoring ceremonies to the God and Goddess. I began again at the basics of meditation and honoring the divine. Slowly things began opening up in my mind and I began to once again feel the connection.

If you ever feel like your in a place like this, take a step back, even if it's for just five minutes. If you can, sit outside and listen to nature or watch the clouds. Clear your mind of everything, but again, don't force it. Acknowledge the thought or feeling and let it pass, don't dwell on it. If you can't get outside, try taking time before bed at night and sit with a candle. Just focus on your breathing and the soft candlelight. Even if you're used to long meditation sessions, starting over with little ones and increasing them can be immensely helpful in centering yourself again and opening yourself up to the divine.

Reconnecting yourself is like cleaning out a cluttered house. It's a big task and if you try to do it all at once, you're going to get burnt out. Start in a small corner and clean there; Then slowly make your little clean space a little bigger.

Before you know it, your mental house will be clean and organized again - plenty of room for inviting conversation with the divine.

Green Man, Where art Thou? - Finding Your Patron God and Matron Goddess

When first entering Pagan traditions, you’ll often hear of people honoring specific Gods and Goddesses or even entire groups of Gods and Goddesses called pantheons.

If you have a specific God, Goddess, or pantheon in mind – awesome! You’re ahead of the game. Some people are already aligned with Gods and Goddesses who are the patron saints of their life goals. Musicians may choose to worship Apollo, those who have vowed to help women in childbirth may worship Brigid, and if you feel that your life purpose is to maintain peace then perhaps you honor Baldur.

Gung ho new pagans might feel like they have to choose a set to worship, but if you have no one specific in mind then I say wait.  

Feel the energy of the God and Goddess (or many of them).  Wait for signs to pop up. Some people smell certain scents such as cinnamon or roses when a God or Goddess is around. Some people see certain symbols or animals more frequently like horses or ankhs when a God or Goddess is trying to get their attention.

Like many, I tried to force myself to honor a specific pantheon. The Norse Gods seemed pretty freakin' awesome, but then the Celtic Gods have cool names. None of them really felt like they clicked with me though.

My first real experience with a matron Goddess was with Athena.

I first realized that Athena was with me when I meditated and asked for guidance. I wanted to know who my guides were in my life and following the advice of one of my favorite bloggers, I asked. In addition to two other guides that I’d known about for a long time, I was surprised to feel the presence and “see” the name Athena in my mind.

‘Cool!’ I thought. I had heard of Athena, she’s a pretty popular Goddess after all, and I knew she had something to do with wisdom. At the time I didn’t put much thought or research into it. Shortly after that, I decided that it would be really cool to start collecting owls; It was a random thought. I started seeing owls everywhere. Knickknacks, on TV, in art… and then I researched Athena. It turned out that Athena was frequently depicted with an owl.

My Goddess had found me.

If you are looking for yours, be open and don’t be afraid to ask the divine…

If you’ve already found yours, don’t be afraid to share your story with others. Perhaps that other person isn’t recognizing the signs in their life and your story will help them to do so.

Daily Meditation

Daily meditation is not only relaxing, but it also helps with energy work and visualization. For some people it may seem boring (especially for some younger kids), but it is the most basic and most important exercise that anyone should practice when trying to open yourself up to the spiritual realm.

When I first was drawn to Wicca and everything metaphysical, I had no guide. I bought books and dabbled in a few things. One of the books I bought was called Channeling. I thought it was so cool to think that I could be like one of the mediums on TV. As I sat in a chair, facing a sunny window, alone in our living room I asked that someone make contact with me and use me as a vessel. I felt pressure in my head, shoulders, and arms like someone was diving into my body. At that moment our cat hissed at me and ran away. It creeped  me the heck out and since my concentration was broken, whoever was starting to come in went away again.

I told my mom, who then told our family friend, Corinne. Corinne was into crystals and natural healing through herbs and meditation. Once she heard what had happened, boy did she let me have it. I got a lot of "what were you thinking?" and "that could have ended so badly." After the lecture, she gave me gifts. My younger sister was involved as well so that she wouldn't make the same mistake. The first gift she gave to me was a pendulum that she had made of aventurine and malachite. The second gift was a set of candle holders, one holder for each color of the rainbow. The third gift was a lesson on meditation.

She told me that before any spiritual work, I need to learn how to shield myself. She explained chakras and how they work. This was her method:

• Imagine a glowing bubble of light. That glowing bubble surrounds all of your body. Visualize it, make it thick and strong. Eventually you can work to expand or contract it, but for now just see it.
  When you can see your bubble, put out the intention that only beings of light and love, for the best and highest purpose are allowed to enter.
   
• Imagine a bright beam of light coming from the sky, entering through the top of your head, through your body, and going deep down into the Earth. Then imagine a bright beam of light coming up from the Earth, into your tailbone, through your body, up into the sky. Take a moment and feel centered and grounded. If you feel like you're dizzy or lost, try to strengthen your grounding connection with the Earth.
   
• To clear any negative energy imagine a sieve lifting up through your bubble and body. Fling all of the negative energy out into the universe, but as it leaves your bubble visualize the black turning into pink or gold. Ask that it be turned into light and love to be used for the best and highest purpose.
   
• When you are ready, break out the candleholder. Each color represents a chakra. Light each candle and visualize that glowing light spreading through your body. If you have trouble seeing the color spreading all the way through your fingers, toes, and top of your head then vizualize abright light shining through that chakra. I picture a pressure washer of light blasting away all of the black gunky negative tar.
• Red: The root chakra. Associated with feeling grounded and physical things. Picture red things such as rubies, roses, strawberries. The feeling of a hot fire or spicy hot sauce. 
• Orange: The sacral chakra. Associated with feelings and sexuality. Picture fresh oranges, a warm glowing fire, amber stones.
• Yellow: The naval chakra. Associated with self-esteem. Picture dandelions, lemons, the sun.  
• Green: The heart chakra. Associated with love and kindness. Picture aventurine, cool grass, trees. 
• Blue: The throat chakra. Associated with communication. Picture lapis lazuli, the sound of the ocean, hyacinth, blue berries.
• Indigo: The third eye chakra. Associated with visualization and intuition. Picture amethyst and eggplants. 
• Violet: The crown chakra. Associated with wisdom and a connection with the divine. This is normally represented by a lotus flower opening.
   
• The more you meditate, the easier and quicker it will be to open your chakras and put your shield up. This should be the basic protections put up before any spiritual work. When you are done meditating, thank any guides that helped you and make sure to close your chakras.

For the past few days, Bacchus and Hestia have been working on meditation. Since they are so interested in Wicca and ritual, I wanted them to have the most basic protection. I wanted them to learn it early on so that they don't make any mistakes like I did.

I gave them my candle holder and the same lesson that was given to me. I also gave them their first pieces to their altar collection, a seashell to represent the Goddess. They have homework to meditate daily. It's not forced, but I reminded them that if they are to do this, it is a daily effort. Wicca is not something they choose to just fool around with every once in a while. They are free to choose whatever religion they'd like, so long as it doesn't harm anyone else or themselves. If they choose Wicca, then it is a commitment to learning and understanding.