Empowered

Empowered! 

What I love most about kids, is watching them feel empowered. Seeing my children do something on their own the first time and then loudly proclaiming, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!” is one of the most awesome experiences of being a parent (or aunt, uncle, grandparent, teacher, guardian, etc.). I know that these children will grow up to be independent and able to solve any problems put in front of them. All it takes is encouragement to keep trying and a reminder that they CAN do it by themselves.

Another reason why it’s so exciting to see them feeling empowered, is because I know the feeling! When I feel like I have accomplished an event that took effort, whether it is physical or mental, I feel the rush of self-pride. I want to share with everyone, “LOOK! I DID IT MYSELF!” just like a kid. Adonis has even been there for several of these moments, including one last night where I made my own toothpaste for us to use.

 If you’re having trouble feeling self-empowered, you could try a few things (or you can try them with your children as well):

• Clear and charge a citrine or amethyst gemstone with the intention of assisting you in having more self-empowerment. 
• Clear your energy with sage, focusing on removing all doubts within yourself. 
• Do a ritual with a red or yellow candle for courage. A purple candle could be used for success. An indigo candle could be used to remove fear. During the ritual, focus your energy on the task, let the Gods know your intentions, and visualize yourself starting a task and following it through to completion. Envision breaking through a brick wall or climbing a tall mountain. The most important part of the visualization is to see yourself celebrating your victory. If you feel moved, you could even get up and do a “happy dance” around the circle. Throw some confetti for yourself. Then get out and accomplish what you want to do, no matter how hard it is.

Ack! Another Religion in the House

Multi-religion households can have an interesting dynamic.

The biggest question that I’ve seen regarding this topic is, “Which religion do we raise our kids in?” It can be pretty intense when one side of the family is Catholic and the other side is Protestant, but throw in a Pagan religion and you’ve got a completely different point of view.

As Wiccans, and most Pagans really, we have the mindset that you should not force your beliefs or religion on anyone.

If you’re not supposed to force your religion on anyone, what do you do when others are forcing theirs on your children?

My husband and I are Wiccan. My ex-husband is not really religious, but his parents are Catholic. My niece and nephew, who live with us, are required to pray a specific prayer at meals by their father. My niece has an interest in Wicca though. It can get pretty interesting, especially at meal times. Confusing enough for you? It is for us sometimes too.

When my four-year-old son is with his father (my ex-husband), my son sometimes goes to Catholic church with his grandparents. Lately, he’s been coming home with questions like, “Where is heaven?” and, “Did God make the baby in your tummy?” His cousins also pray at dinner and he wanted to start as well.

At first, our plan was not to expose him to any religion and let him come to it on his own when he got older. With so many outside influences, we’ve come to this a lot sooner than I’d planned.

Does it irk me that his grandparents take him to church, even though my agreement with their son was not to? Yes. Am I going to ban him from it? No.

I could have taken my ex to court, saying that he’s violating part of our joint custody agreement, but I’m pretty sure that would have been over-the-top (in addition to being costly). What I’ve decided to do instead, is to expose him to multiple religions.

When he asks questions about heaven, I explain that Papa and Grandma believe that heaven is where God lives, but I also explain what Mommy and Step-dad believe. It may be a little young for him to understand everything, but at least he knows that not everyone believes the same thing and that’s ok.

The first ritual we ever did together was for Mabon. He thought it was a lot of fun because it included apples that we got to eat afterward, seeds that we got to plant, and a little dance we did holding hands around the circle.

As for saying grace before dinner, we made a little non-religion-specific poem that he could recite about being thankful. He used it for a while, but eventually he decided that getting down to eat was more important than saying something first.

Instead of looking this situation as bitter lemons to be angrily smashed, I took it as a chance to make lemonade. In the future, I think it will help him be more open-minded with people and encourage him to explore as many options as he can.

Death and Rememberance - Samhain

One of my favorite quotes on life and death is,

"[The Goddess] gives birth to abundance. But as life is Her gift, She lends it with the promise of death. This is not darkness and oblivion, but rest from the toils of physical existence. It is human existence between incarnations."

-Scott Cunningham

Pronounced “Sow-en”, Samhain is the pagan holiday which focuses on death. It marks the witch’s New Year as the cycle of life and death is complete. This is the Sabbat the Sun God dies, to eventually be reborn again to the Goddess at Yule. It is celebrated beginning at sunset on October 31^st, the same day as Halloween. Samhain in Wiccan tradition, as well as many others, is the day of the year when the veil between the world of the living and dead is the thinnest. It is this day that spirits roam the Earth and visit loved ones.

Death can be a hard concept to understand for children who’ve never known anyone or anything who has died. Death can be hard to accept for those children who have known a loved one, including pets, to pass away. The reason that Cunningham’s quote is one of my favorites is because it shows that we should not fear death, nor should we be sad for those who have passed on. They are at rest.

This Samhain, we will perform a ritual after trick-or-treating which will allow us to honor our loved ones who’ve passed on.

A few years ago, Adonis’ mother passed away from breast cancer and everyone is still grieving. The children were all very close to her and still make drawings and prayers for her. This ritual can be another way of honoring her memory. My own grandmother is close to moving toward her physical rest. She recently found out that she has stage 4 lung cancer and I hope to be able to honor her life on this Samhain, even if she has not yet passed. Her being in the hospital so suddenly, with relatively no notice and such a short time to live, reminds me how fragile life is and how unexpected death can be.

Many cultures leave offerings of food, toys, or beverages for spirits traveling through this world on Samhain. Our ritual that night will do the same. We still care about the people and animals who have been a part of our lives and so we will feed their spirits. A candle will be placed in the window to help guide them if needed and an extra place at the table will be set if they’d like to join us. Samhain is also a holiday of candy, being Halloween and all. We will have the children leave a piece of collected candy at the altar to share with the spirits and to sweeten the spirits’ journey.  Our ritual will also include a chance to share a person or pet they’d like to remember or honor and to say some things that they remember or enjoyed.

Life is celebrated as a gift and remembered on this special Sabbat.



Next Sabbat: Yule

Mabon Fun

Yesterday was the autumn equinox, also known as Mabon. Often pronounced MAY-bawn, it is the Lesser Sabbat which celebrates the transformation of the Goddess from Mother to Crone and the preparation of the Horned God for his death and re-birth. This is a time for reflection on the blessings that we have had throughout the year.

It was an educational day for the kids as we celebrated the second harvest and honored the changing of the seasons.

The Celebration: 

 

Mabon is a time of reflection for the family, and like a mini-thanksgiving; a remembrance of all of the blessings that we are grateful for. The Goddess and God bless us every day and taking time to celebrate these blessings is important.

During the ritual we cut the apples in half, revealing the five-pointed star. With each half of the apple, we called the quarters while remembering our connectedness to all life.

Potatoes, a symbol of the harvest and of fall, decorated the altar. Each of us held a potato and took turns thanking the Lord and Lady for the blessings that we have. At first my son Hermes couldn't think of any blessings, so we suggested some things like love of his family and food to fill his belly. He liked those and then surprised us by thinking of a few good ones of his own (toys, of course being one).

My favorite part of this ritual was giving each child a piece of apple and wishing, "May you never hunger," and then a sip of blackberry juice wishing, "May you never thirst." Thinking about their future and the happiness that you wish for them was an overwhelming feeling in my heart.

After these blessings we joined our hands in a circle and did a vine dance. The vine dance was a little hard for Hermes, since he is only 4, but he thought it was a lot of fun. Going around and around, weaving our feet back and forth, we created an imaginary vine on the ground while raising our energy. We grounded our energies again and bid farewell to the quarters and the Goddess and God.

Afterward, we shared the rest of the apples and juice.

Activities for Mabon:

• Harvest themed coloring sheets
• Apple star stamp painting
• Harvest vegetables or spend some time in the garden. (If you have a garden)
• Plant vegetables such as lettuce, cabbage, radishes (or other veggies that grow in your zone). 
• Make corn dollies
• Make a dinner with your children that includes squash, potatoes, corn bread, and other fall fare. 
• Find a location to go berry or apple picking (if you, like us, aren't lucky enough to have some at your home).
• Collect leaves, seedpods, or other plant materials which have fallen and create rubbings or glue them to paper.

Next Sabbat: Samhain (October 31st)