Litha

Litha... or Summer Solstice... or Midsummer, depending one what you want to call it, is a celebration on the longest day of the year. Summer Solstice is one of the 4 minor sabbats and is a solar holiday, a day we celebrate the sun.

On this day in Celtic mythology, the eternal battle between the Oak King and the Holly King changes tide and the Holly King begins to grow in power as the Oak King loses the battle (until Winter Solstice comes around again). Alternatively, this is also a day that the we mourn the Sun King as he is dying, to be reborn again at Yule.

In many religions and cultures, bonfires are lit on this day to ward away evil spirits and bring luck and blessings for a good harvest. Themes for the Summer Solstice include the sun, fire, transformation, honoring the faerie folk in your gardens and land, bountiful crops, and protection. Many pagans also use this holiday as a day of rededication to their beliefs and their deities.

Living in the desert, our family knows the sun very well. In the mornings, it is very pleasant, providing a gentle warmth and encouraging us to get outside and commune with nature. However, by noon, the heat from the sun can be overwhelming, and if you're not careful, can transform your garden into a dried up patch of dust.

On the Summer Solstice, we celebrated this powerful King of Summer. We pieced together a ritual, borrowing ideas from ourselves, Garden Witchery by Ellen Dugan, A Year of Ritual by Sandra Kynes, and the Litha ritual from 13moons.com. Outside we created a circle of stones in the desert (which is our backyard). 

Our tiny desert bundle.

As we sweated in the heat, we tried to light a very small Solstice fire. Lighting a small fire in the desert is no small feat. If you have never experienced it, another thing that is very strong in the desert is the wind. We laughed as our tiny flames burned out very quickly. We did get enough of a flame though to bless our family dog (his collar actually, we did not put the actual dog through the flames) and to burn pieces of paper with words of things that we'd like to see transformed within ourselves for the coming year. We also presented the garden faeries with a crystal offering to help our struggling garden.

I thought about it later and should have made our Solstice fire in our BBQ. BBQs are summer themed, right?

After the boys had finished their part, I had wanted to take some time to rededicate myself. Oh boy though, a mom asking her kids for 5 minutes to herself just gets quickly carried away by the desert wind. It became 50 questions time; in and out of the house (Can I play Minecraft? Where's Dad? So and so is doing this). I decided to scrap that part of the ritual. Laughingly, I ended the ritual with my hands in the air saying, "Well, I'm sorry. I tried." That night, as I watched the sun go down, I was able to take a few minutes to myself and meditate. It was a lovely experience.

Sometimes the smaller gestures are the most powerful ones.

If you decide to celebrate the Solstice with your family, make sure that it's full of fun and celebration. Little Pagan Acorns has a neat collection of Litha coloring pages Have a BBQ party, go swimming, garden, play in the sprinkler, eat Popsicles. Most of all though, enjoy the sun.

Phoenix

Well, well, well...

It's been quite a while since I've written a post. We've had quite a bit of excitement around here. Baby boy #3 was born 8 weeks early and life has been a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, diapers, and sleepless nights. That's all expected with a new baby though and I wouldn't change it for anything. Especially since he's let me watch 6 seasons (so far) of Charmed on Netflix. The power of three!

I never got to have my blessingway or baby shower. He decided to come the week before it was all scheduled. I kind of felt like I got gypped in a way. The one thing I really wanted (aside from a beautiful, healthy baby, of course) was a power necklace, full of beads empowered with positive thoughts from my friends and family, for me to wear during labor. I should have remembered that nothing usually goes as you want it to when it comes to having a baby. I did get a healthy baby though, who only had to stay in the NICU for 10 (veeerrrry long) days.

My tradition of Greek God names for my family may have to be slightly broken for this little guy. I'll be referring to him as "Phoenix". That's his actual middle name and it fits him very well.

A phoenix is a beautiful Greek mythological bird that lives for a very, very long time. It gets old, bursts into flame, and from the ashes of the bird is born again.

In October I found out I was pregnant, on Samhain I had (what I thought was) a miscarriage. I won't go into the gory details, but it was to the point that my husband and I had a burial and a little ritual for our "lost" babe. Come to find out, at a confirmation ultrasound two weeks later, he was still alive and kickin'. Well, not kicking at that point since he was still a little blob, but he had a heartbeat that we hadn't seen in the previous ultrasound! We kind of felt like he rose from the ashes of my womb. Then he decided to make his entrance into the world early. He was expected to stay in the NICU for 2 months, but this little guy is a fighter and left the NICU after 10 days. I cried when I got the phone call to bring him home.

He was so delicate and tiny when he came home, weighing in at 5 lbs, that we were afraid to do anything with him.

He his now very active and we're not as worried about him. He finally smiled for us last week and his brothers love him to death.

We will soon have a Wiccaning for him, but we need to get settled into our new home first.

Check out my awesome babe...

Phoenix in the NICU hooked up with oxygen and an IV, 8 weeks before his due date:

 

 My big 13lb, happy boy. 1 month after his actual due date.

Different Directions

Sometimes going in different directions from the one you've set your heart on is a tough adjustment to make.

My recent experience with different directions:

It's a BOY! Again...

We have two boys already, so this makes number three for us.

I know that in writing this post I will have some judgment cast, but it's something that a lot of mothers go through and it is rarely admitted. 

Adonis had already said that this would be our last baby and I must admit that I was crossing my fingers and toes extra hard for a girl (even though I "knew" deep down, before the big ultrasound, that it was a boy). The picture in my head was to have a little goddess to follow in my footsteps, but the Lord and Lady had different plans for our family. We were thinking girl so much that we only had a name picked out for a little girl. I had dreams of sparkly shoes, tutus, and long wavy hair with bows.

When I saw the little extra body part that meant it was a boy and not a girl, I felt the tears well up. I told myself to stop, I told myself it wasn't right to be upset enough to cry, but the pregnancy hormones took over and once I made it to the car I cried. I felt like an awful mother for being sad and for not rejoicing in the healthy gift of life that I was being given. There are many mothers who cannot have children and there are still more who become pregnant and lose there babies.

How could I have sat there and been crying because I got another hot dog instead of a hamburger? 

I couldn't help it though; I can be a control freak and it's one of my vices that I work on. Major changes to my plans result in an emotional reaction sometimes and these darn hormones make it that much worse. It was not his extra body part that I was disappointed with and in actuality it had nothing to do with him at all. It was the expectations that I had unrealistically set myself up with and my own plans that had not materialized. Plans that I had absolutely no control over.

Just to reiterate and make it clear:  I was not at all unhappy about my new son's life. I love him very much, sing and talk to him daily, meditate on connecting with him, and CANNOT wait to see him with my own eyes.

It can take time to grab a hold of that silver lining or to set foot on the new path you've been given. Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment by hoping and wishing on something that we have no control over. This is where we need to remember to just let go and know that we are being put on a path for a reason. 

My silver lining: It's another baby (*happy dance*), my due date was moved up to June 22nd from July 1st, he has the CUTEST little hands I've seen in an ultrasound, I've always been told that boys are easier to raise, we don't have to buy a lot of new clothes since we still have most of them from when Hermes was a little baby, Adonis said that we could maybe try again in the future, and I'm still the only queen of my castle.

Ack! Another Religion in the House

Multi-religion households can have an interesting dynamic.

The biggest question that I’ve seen regarding this topic is, “Which religion do we raise our kids in?” It can be pretty intense when one side of the family is Catholic and the other side is Protestant, but throw in a Pagan religion and you’ve got a completely different point of view.

As Wiccans, and most Pagans really, we have the mindset that you should not force your beliefs or religion on anyone.

If you’re not supposed to force your religion on anyone, what do you do when others are forcing theirs on your children?

My husband and I are Wiccan. My ex-husband is not really religious, but his parents are Catholic. My niece and nephew, who live with us, are required to pray a specific prayer at meals by their father. My niece has an interest in Wicca though. It can get pretty interesting, especially at meal times. Confusing enough for you? It is for us sometimes too.

When my four-year-old son is with his father (my ex-husband), my son sometimes goes to Catholic church with his grandparents. Lately, he’s been coming home with questions like, “Where is heaven?” and, “Did God make the baby in your tummy?” His cousins also pray at dinner and he wanted to start as well.

At first, our plan was not to expose him to any religion and let him come to it on his own when he got older. With so many outside influences, we’ve come to this a lot sooner than I’d planned.

Does it irk me that his grandparents take him to church, even though my agreement with their son was not to? Yes. Am I going to ban him from it? No.

I could have taken my ex to court, saying that he’s violating part of our joint custody agreement, but I’m pretty sure that would have been over-the-top (in addition to being costly). What I’ve decided to do instead, is to expose him to multiple religions.

When he asks questions about heaven, I explain that Papa and Grandma believe that heaven is where God lives, but I also explain what Mommy and Step-dad believe. It may be a little young for him to understand everything, but at least he knows that not everyone believes the same thing and that’s ok.

The first ritual we ever did together was for Mabon. He thought it was a lot of fun because it included apples that we got to eat afterward, seeds that we got to plant, and a little dance we did holding hands around the circle.

As for saying grace before dinner, we made a little non-religion-specific poem that he could recite about being thankful. He used it for a while, but eventually he decided that getting down to eat was more important than saying something first.

Instead of looking this situation as bitter lemons to be angrily smashed, I took it as a chance to make lemonade. In the future, I think it will help him be more open-minded with people and encourage him to explore as many options as he can.